Mind… best friend or worst enemy?

Mind vs everything = Mind wins everytime.

Life is simple but our mind has a habit of making things complicated.  It begins with a tiny thought..

‘Wow she is so pretty and has the most perfect body. Well I am not going to take it to heart. I have a wonderful personality and I am working on getting fitter…….but that dress looks so mindblowing on her. If I wore the same dress, it will look like a pumpkin is wearing a dress. I am so ugly and have no control over my eating habits. I deserve all the sadness. I am horrible. I am not worthy of good things.’ – Day ruined!

‘Oh I forgot to send an important email to my boss before leaving for vacation. Hmm I think it should be okay. oh but wait.. what if it is important? Will my boss think I am unprofessional to have forgotten to cover all my tracks before leaving. No no.. It’s okay, my peer will provide that information. Should be fine.. But wait, would that mean that he/she will get promoted over me? It just shows how incapable I am. I am an imposter and not good enough. I am not worthy of happiness.’ – Vacation ruined!

Our mind is the most capable tool and at times, a very destructive one. You give a very simple situation to it and sure knows how to complicate the shit out of it. My mind is a total legend in this case. #Monika’s-mind can cook up stories beyond imagination and in turn make me feel like I am the most unworthy person in the universe. *I give way too much important to myself*. But seriously, it’s true. *Not the most important person part guys*. A thought creeps in and spirals out of control until I am left broken. I am sure alot of you can relate to it.. Doesn’t it also physically tire you?

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But we are not a lost cause. Na na na.. We are capable of controlling this beast. And we will. I have been trying to practise mindfulness in the past couple of weeks and it sure is helping. Ofcourse my mind still plays games with me. But games are fun! Rather than killing myself over the negative thoughts, I take a step back, soak it in, try to turn it into a positive thought and if I cannot, I just let it pass. *Does this mean Monika is growing up? 🙀*

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Here are some tips and tricks that are helping me and hopefully will provide some value to you guys as well –

Realizing that no thought is make or break

I have always given my thoughts way too much importance. *yes, I need to work on this whole narcism thing* . Ofcourse it’s good to be nice but sometimes your mind deserves tough love. If not, it will wander to uncharted territories and you know what happens then. *Think about all the horror movies where the actors stupidly go to places that are screaming terror*. To live more mindfully, it is important to realize that no thought is ever make or break. Thoughts are just thoughts. They are as powerful as you want them to be. Nurture the ones that are positive and bring you closer to a sense of peace and balance. Recognize the ones that push you down, stop them and ask ..

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Where is the evidence?

Whenever a negative though creeps in, take a moment. Step back and ask yourself, where is the evidence? For eg. if your mind is pretty mean and says things like “You are a failure in life”, instead of agreeing and crying your eyes out, hold your head up and look for evidence. Let’s take my example. I haven’t been in this world for a very long time *in other words, I really don’t want to tell you guys my age but hey I promise I am young!*, so how can I think that I am a failure? What instance of my life makes me think that I am a failure? I have a great support system. A decent life.. Roof on top.. A safe life.. Then what makes me a failure? Get my point? Keep digging deep and 95% of the time, the thought is lying. *not everyone in this world is truthful you see*. 

Always look for evidence!

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Positive mind is a happy mind

Ahhh how much I want my thoughts to be all positive and living in a unicorn world. 🌟  The reality is not even close.. But but I am trying really hard. And to a teeny tiny extent, it’s definitely working. Whenever a negative thought creeps in, I stop myself immediately. I say something positive and move on. I do not give too much importance to the negative thought and thankfully *unlike some people 😁* it understands that it has no job being in my mind and leaves me *atleast for the time being*. Practicing positivity may sound uncool and oh-so-lame but it works. Give it a try!

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External tools

I am a huge fan of self-help books and websites. Alot of my friends don’t get it but hey, a girl gotta do what she gotta do. Give it a try if you need an extra nudge to get going. In the worst case, you’ll find it cliched and stupid. But imagine if it actually works and pushes you to get out of the couch to live your vision!  Ahh the possibilities. 😇

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Is this something you guys want to know more about? Comment below if you would like me to write a separate post on some of the books and websites I love. 😊

Exercise 

Move your body and your mind will thank you. I struggle with being consistent but whenever I do get moving, everything feels right. There is a sense of calm and being present in the moment without the constant struggle of what the future holds. I am personally a huge fan of zumba but any form of exercise will do the trick. I have heard great things about meditation and definitely want to take it up someday..

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#Celebrate-Fall-With-Monika

Welcome back to another post in the fall/winter series. I wanted the look and feel of this post to be uncomplicated to go along with the concept of decluttering your mind. This outfit was put together in 10 minutes and the shoot was done in another 15 minutes. All I did was stand in one place and move my body/head left-right-left *mostly only left*. Go through the pics and you’ll know what I am talking about! 😆  Yes, blogging can be simple somedays. Ofcourse the outfit needed to be fall related for temperatures that are no way close to fall. Let’s talk about 2 key pieces that fit the bill perfectly!

Kimono

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You all know my undying love for kimono’s. No? Check out this post pretty please. Kimono is a great transitional piece and provides a very light layer for a very hot weather. 🙈

Track pants

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Athleisure is my jam! Exercise may not be but gym wear most definitely is! I can wear tracks in the morning, afternoon, night, to lunches, brunches and if allowed, formal dinners. I think track pants are a great addition for slightly cooler weather. They provide coverage and most importantly the comfort when you are having burgers, fries, milkshakes, ice-creams and all the good stuff.. 😈

And that’s a wrap for another post in the #celebrate-fall-with-monika series. Have a fantastic week my lovely people.Until next time.. ciao – Love, M ❤️

“Be mindful of your self-talk. It’s a conversation with the universe.” – David James Lees

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OUTFIT DETAILS
Kimono – Target – $30
Tracks – Target – $25
Shirt – Old Navy (similar) – $10
Sandals – Forever 21 (very different but very pretty)- $20
Neckpiece – India
Bag – Zara – $70

I would love love to know some of your tips and tricks for being more mindful and not letting the mind control every aspect of your life. This chica appreciates all the help she can get. 😊

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89 comments

  1. Wow Monica, loved reading the post girl! What you have written has hit home. I am clearly the one who go for long walks with my thoughts. But as you rightly mentioned, reading self-help books and inspirational quotes for that matter really help 🌷🌷🌷
    Life is beautiful with all its flaws and true happiness really lies in making it worthwhile. Having a positive attitude is a true blessing. Keep rocking babe❤️❤️🌺
    xx
    Saabri
    http://www.phashionbug.com

  2. Only a beautiful mind can write such a soulful piece. You are one person I know who is beautiful inside out. The first picture of the blog is so raw and powerful, almost like you could convey what you want to say just though that pic. :* LOVE IT!

    P.S: You look so pretty in this look, i ma going to copy it, lip color included 😉

    1. You make my day always :* That first picture is actually one of my fav clicks.. It’s nothing fancy but there is something about it.. Yes yes you will totally rock this look!!! Go for it gorgeous <3

  3. Another wonderful post babe! I agree with you, positive mind is a Happy mind.
    I enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing gorgeous!
    You look beautiful As always!
    Xx, Raysa

  4. Great post! I definitely have a mind that can run wild and sometimes I overthink the what-if’s so much that it does mess with my day. This post really hit home.
    xo, Laura
    have-need-want.com

  5. It can be very easy to let the negative thoughts take over, but staying positive is so important. I like the point about looking for evidence, I’m going to keep that in mind!

  6. Oh my gosh! I loved reading this. I am extreme anxiety that most can be cured with reprograming my thought process. I loved what you said- our thoughts are just thoughts, not to put too much power in what they are saying. I have never heard that before. That is a beautiful and super helpful way of looking at our brain. Really really loved this! Thank you for sharing your brilliance! XO, Ellese

    Rock.Paper.Glam.

    1. Awww thank you so much Ellese. I am so glad you enjoyed the post and it was helpful in some way. Yeah, our mind plays alot of tricks with us. We just have to be mindful to not give it all the control 🙂

  7. Absolutely loved reading the post, Monica! Our mind is a powerful thing!It can enslave us or empower us!We all should learn to use the power wisely. When we fill it with positive thoughts, we can change our lives. I love self help books and websites too. 🙂 Thank you for another beautiful post. And I’m in love with your super cool outfit. Love your lip color. Beautiful shade on you! <3

  8. I simply love and can relate with everything you’ve shared here, beautiful. The mind is truly the battlefield. Have you ever read that book by Joyce Meyer? She’s amazing and so down to earth and so funny, too, I think you’d like her if you’re not familiar with her already. I think society and the pressure it produces is the reason to blame with all the insecurities we face and the negative and depleting thoughts we entertain, especially now more than ever when the whole #girlboss thing is trendy hard. Now, don’t get me wrong, I think this is a great thing that we’re seeing women aspire and hold positions like never before, but it does put a sense of pressure on all of us because us women are emotional beings (whoa, that sounded really spiritual, haha). Seriously though. I think if the media and society delivered this #girlboss message in a more inspirational way, instead of a more competitive and aggressive way, it would be easier on our self-esteem, but then again, we can’t leave everything up to them in controlling our joy and confidence. I love all the ideas you’ve shared here and I’d definitely want to know the books and sites you look to for encouragement! Thanks so much for sharing and you look absolutely beautiful in these photos, I love that lipstick color on you! I hope you’re having the best week so far!

    XO,

    Jalisa
    http://www.thestylecontour.com

    1. Hi Jalisa, I have actually never heard of Joyce Meyer but I am definitely checking her out! Oh I completely get you on the whole competitive aspect. Ofcourse all of s want to be successful but it shouldn’t be at the cost of your happiness or peace of mind. There needs to a shift in thinking in terms of what is defined as “success”. It’s not always the rosy promotions, big house and cars.. It’s so much more than that. Thank you gorgeous for leaving such a thoughtful comment. I truly appreciate you taking time out to read this post. Wishing you a wonderful day :*

  9. What great tips! I often fall into the trap of poor self-talk. But remembering to be positive and look for evidence are ones I need to work on especially.

  10. The mind can definitely be a great tool but also lead to very destructive thoughts. We all go through these moments there when the negative voice and comparisons come to play.

  11. Such a well written article. I am visiting your site again soon to keep reading interesting articles like these especially the ones we all can relate to. Things we think but never say out loud.

  12. As much as everybody has loved your blog (all the comments!), it is undeniably true how much we would like to have conversations with mind. Sometimes it just needs that destressing – kimono and track pants, what a lovely idea! I personally think nursing scrub pants are super comfy too 🙂
    I am loving your lipstick shade!

  13. Beautiful writing, Monika! You always manage to write about some very important issues and you put it across so well! I can totally relate to all that you’ve written.. our minds can be very destructive but you know what, you’ll outgrow that. I never thought I would one day say this because I can literally relate to every word you wrote but somehow over time it’ll pass. I guess it’s all part of a change process and once you realize you don’t care so much about the unimportant things, you start focusing more on what’s important and you’ll be content with that. And your mind will slowly reduce these games. I would LOVE to know about self help books/ websites so please write about it. I used to love A New Earth and the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Helped me though some tough times but it’s been so long since I’ve read another one. I guess it’s a good sign right? But please do recommend! And you look sooo good in this look! You’re rocking those blue tracks like a total pro! HUgs!!!

    1. Thank you Tivoli for being so kind with your words! Love you :* And your words actually give me hope. Slow and steady is the key word here. I absolutely admire your strength and power that you bring.. I need to read the power of now. Heard such great great things about it.. I will definitely write a post about some of ones I love soon 🙂 Lots of love and hugs to you. Have a great great week :*

  14. This is such amazing post. We really have the same thought process.
    I always think of what negative can happen. It does help me prepare, but I am always stressed on doing things right.
    Loved the kimono and lip shade on you.
    You always exude the charm and confidence I love!
    Richa | Fancier’s World

  15. Monika, loved this post. I also am a huge fan of self help books and physical exercise to pick up my mood instantly. In addition to that, I also love to watch my favorite youtubers and just seeing their positive energies on my screen motivates me to get up and get my s*** together. Ones that I particularly love watching are imjennim from clothes encounters and sazan hendrix. We all have our days, trust me. Sending lots of love and hugs.
    http://www.lacasabloga.com